First post of the new year — you know its going to be a sassy one. Alright, ladies and gents lets get started.
I had a serious talk with my self at the beginning of 2019, and no I wasn’t talking to myself in the mirror while doing my makeup pretending to be a beauty vlogger. I had a serious talk with myself, I really wanted to target what made me happy in 2018 and what didn’t. I wanted to take the things that made me happy and do more of them and take the things that didn’t make me happy and throw them in the trash. Cliché, I know… however my brain likes to play depression/anxiety roulette, so I have to be on my toes at all times. One way I attempt to counter the bad feelings is to get the things that give me bad feelings out of mind. So here are the things that ya girl does NOT have time for this year!
- Women who don’t support other women/Mean girls/ Hoes : LOL I just put hoes in there because it was funny, but I am talking about the first two… obviously. I met some mean girls this year… I mean who doesn’t and I’m here to say. Don’t. Got. Time. You might ask where do you find these mean girls? Well, they are everywhere – at work, in your social circles, randos. I legit got yelled at, at a bodega this year because some girl was shopping for mountain dew and the cashier decided to check out my items first… because she was still shopping around. I also was body shammed by a woman at the gym, she told me I looked like one of those “gym memes – ya know when you see people like you (me) at the gym.” *eye roll city* Honey, you don’t know my struggles. *does 10 deep yoga breaths* So 2018 I leave you mean girls, and 2019 I give you woman who support other woman, good vibes, and nice ladies.
- Meat. Yup… meat. Ok, so here is the thing a few years ago I decided I wanted to eat less meat/animal products. I was becoming more educated on eating whole foods and I was feeling really good. The thought of eating meat began to make me nauseas and I just did my best to stay away from it. But you will never guess what happened.. people judged me. They would say side comments about my unwillingness to eat a product produced by an animal and just overall be not be supportive. Changing something you have done for your whole life (like eating meat) is difficult and it’s not always perfect. So 2018 I leave you meat/animal products, and 2019 I give you animal cuddles, love, and support.
- Being scared to be creative. I have so many ideas in my head, but always think “what does my audience want?”. I have completely forgotten why I’m here. Why I exist on this small corner of the internet. My style is so diverse and I worry that trying to keep with a perfect instagram flow I can’t show popped collars one day and rainbows another. So 2018 I give you my lame unenergized content, and 2019 I give you the content I want to make.
- Not appreciating my body. I am not nice to my body. I drink too much, don’t eat that well, and don’t exercise. Want to hear a secret? I cry after I run road races. Yup, every 5k in the past 3 years I have ran I tear up/cry at least one time during it. Out of pain? Torture? No. I cry because I take running (+ physical fitness) for granted. There are so many people who are not able to run. Something that is so simple to some: running. And here I am mother effing my way through 3 miles, that people who kill to do. My unofficial goal for 2019 is to run a 10k. So 2018 I leave you my inappreciativeness of my body and 2019 I give you my strong body and all the wonderful things it is capable of.
Wow… that post did not go how I expected. I let my mind run with it and here is a piece of content I am overjoyed with to give you. See you next week! (Oh yah that will be a new thing around here- posts once a week Tuesday or Wednesday – Stay Tuned!!)
“Evolving is cool.” Liza Koshy